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Harris Poll finds men more likely to admit to financial infidelity

Published: Sunday, November 28, 2021 - 6:04pm
Updated: Monday, November 29, 2021 - 7:50am

The National Endowment for Financial Education commissioned the Harris Poll to survey adults who currently or in the past have combined finances in a relationship. Forty -three percent admitted to committing some act of financial deception — from hiding a purchase, a bill or bank account to lying about how much they earned or owed.

Of those surveyed, 47% of men and 39% of women reported committing financial deception. When asked why, nearly 40% said they think some aspects of their finances should remain private, even from their partner while more than 30% said they knew their partner would disapprove.

When financial deception was discovered, 85% said it affected the relationship in a variety of ways: from arguing and less trust to better communication and growing closer.

Survey Methodology 

This survey was conducted online within the U.S. by The Harris Poll on behalf of NEFE between June 28-30, 2021, among 2,073 adults ages 18+, of whom 1,248 reported ever combining finances with a spouse or partner. Of those who reported ever combining finances with a spouse or partner, 555 reported they had committed a financial deception, while 650 reported either that they or their spouse/partner had committed a financial deception. Results were weighted for age within gender, region, race/ethnicity, income and education where necessary to align them with their actual proportions in the population. Propensity score weighting was also used to adjust for respondents’ propensity to be online.

Key findings 

Ever combined finances

61% of U.S. adults have ever combined finances in a current/past relationship, while 39% have not.

Financial deceptions-self

Among those who have ever combined finances in a current/past relationship, about two in five Americans (43%) have committed a listed financial deception in a current/past relationship.

  • Over a third (39%) hid a purchase/bank account/statement/bill/cash from a partner/spouse
  • 19% hid cash from a spouse/partner
  • 18% hid a minor purchase from a spouse/partner
  • 13% hid a statement/bill from a spouse/partner
  • 11% hid a bank account from a spouse/partner
  • 9% hid a major purchase from a spouse/partner
  • 12% lied to spouse/partner about something related to finances
  • 10% lied to spouse/partner about how much money they earn(ed)
  • 10% lied to spouse/partner about the amount of debt their owe(d)
  • About one in five (21%) lied about finances/debt/money earned to a partner/spouse

Reasons committed listed financial deceptions

Among those who ever combined finances in a current/past relationship and committed listed financial deceptions in current/past relationships…

  • About two in five (38%) said they believe some aspects of their finances should remain private, even from their spouse/partner
  • A third (34%) said they had discussed finances with their spouse/partner, and they knew they would disapprove
  • A third (33%) were embarrassed/fearful about their finances and didn’t want their spouse/partner to find out
  • 27% said that while they hadn’t discussed finances with their spouse/partner, they feared they would disapprove
  • 8% said they did so for some other reason, while 4% declined to answer

Financial deceptions-spouse/partner

Among those who have ever combined finances in a current/past relationship, about two in five Americans (42%) said a spouse/partner committed a listed financial deception

  • Over a third (36%) said a spouse/partner hid a purchase/bank account/statement/bill/cash from them
  • 15% said a spouse/partner hid a major purchase from them
  • 14% said a spouse/partner hid a minor purchase from them
  • 14% said a spouse/partner hid a statement/bill from them
  • 14% said a spouse/partner hid cash from them
  • 11% said a spouse/partner hid a bank account from them
  • 13% said a spouse/partner lied to them about something related to finances
  • 11% said a spouse/partner lied to them about the amount of debt they owe(d)
  • 9% said a spouse/partner lied to them about how much money they earn(ed)
  • Almost a quarter (24%) said a spouse/partner lied to them about finances/debt/money earned

Effects of financial deception

Among those who ever combined finances in a current/past relationship and who have committed financial deception and/or their partner/spouse committed financial deception.

  • Over four in five (85%) said the financial deceptions affected current/past relationships in some way
  • Two in five (42%) said it caused an argument
  • A third (32%) said it caused less trust in the relationship
  • 20% felt it caused less privacy in the relationship
  • 19% indicated it caused them to become closer/grow together
  • 16% said it led to the separation of combined finances
  • 16% said it caused them to proactively communicate
  • 16% said it ultimately resulted in divorce
  • 13% said it led to a separation as a couple
  • 0% said it had some other effect
  • 15% said it had no effect on the relationship

 Changes made due to financial deception

Among those who ever combined finances in a current/past relationship and who have committed financial deception and/or their partner/spouse committed financial deception.

  • Four in five (81%) said that financial deception is an issue in their current relationship, and among those…
  • Nearly two thirds (64%) have resolved to change how they and their spouse/partner manage finances
    • A third (34%) have resolved to communicate more openly about finances
    • 27% have resolved to create a shared budget
    • 21% have resolved to keep separate accounts
    • 15% have resolved to do something else related to finances
  • 18% have not resolved to change how they and their spouse/partner manage finances
    • 7% think they probably should, even though they haven’t
    • 11% don’t see a need

Ever kept secret/lied to/deceived current spouse/partner about something other than finances 

Among those who ever combined finances in a current/past relationship, 30% have ever kept a significant secret from, lied to, or deceived their current partner or spouse about something other than finances.

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